I was looking at a certain greenie forum (I like to keep my enemies close) and noticed that they plant two trees for every 100 people to sign up for their forum. This is ridiculous. To combat this absurd act of environmental kindness, we at GoAntiGreen.com are going to pour a bottle of bleach on [...]
Entries from October 2008
Thursday
Get out your Hummers, gas guzzlers!
Great news. The price of gas has been declining these past few days. This means it is now cheaper for you to waste gas, ruin the environment, and speed up global warming. Let’s bring on a huge push here. Gas prices “have been falling almost as furiously as the stock market on a bad day.” [...]
Wednesday
Climate-Rising Tip #10 – Take out your insulation
Insulation helps keep your house cool or hot, depending on the temperature you’re trying to keep your house. Confusing? Keep up. If you’re using the heat, insulation keeps your house hot. If you’re using the AC, it keeps your house cool. It’s like a thermos you would bring to school as a kid. Keeps cold [...]
Monday
Climate-Raising Tip #9 – Put your Christmas lights up NOW!
It’s no where near the Christmas season yet, but if you’re a true antigreener (antigreeners shall now be referred to as AGs), you’ll put your Christmas lights up now. They use lots of unnecessary energy. If your house doesn’t look like the building in the included picture, you are a failure. I only have two [...]
Wednesday
Climate-Rising Tip #8 – Kick a Prius
The Toyota Prius is one of the biggest contenders against The Anti-Green Movement. They show that you can be trendy while saving the world. They also save gas, which means the Prius doesn’t burn as much fossil fuel as it can. This leads to a slower climate change. To combat our great cause’s enemy, kick [...]
Tuesday
Climate-Rising Tip #7 – Have a crapload of kids
Apparently one factor of global warming is our booming world population, which makes sense. The more people there are, the more resources that need to be used, the more our global climate rises. Jackpot! This one’s easy to take part in. Here is a step by step tutorial: Have a crapload of kids. How many [...]
Monday
Climate-Rising Tip #6 – Eat a lot of meat
According to the Food and Agricultural Organization of the United Nations, “Livestock are responsible for 18 per cent of the greenhouse gases that cause global warming”. How do livestock release these greenhouse gases? Well, when they pass gas, they let off massive amounts of carbon dioxide. No explanation needed here. The more meat we eat, [...]
Friday
Climate-Rising Tip #5 – Never turn your lights off
Lights use electricity. Electricity uses fossil fuels. Fossil fuels speed up global warming. If you use critical thinking, you’ll critically think that you’d be an idiot not to constantly leave your lights on. Here are some benefits of always leaving every light in your house on: It will speed up global warming. This one’s obvious. [...]
Thursday
Climate-Rising Tip #4 – Cut down lots of trees
We’ve all heard about trees – those tall leafy things that contribute oxygen to the environment. Trees are one of the biggest enemies of The Anti-Green Movement. What can you do about it? Eliminate some. How? Use a hacksaw for smaller trees. For bigger trees, use a chainsaw or dynamite. Which trees? First take care [...]
Thursday
Climate-Rising Tip #3 – Use your shower to steam your clothes
A Number 1 enemy of life is ironing. It’s annoying, it takes a long time, it’s frustrating, it can burn your house down if you accidentally leave the iron on – the list is endless. Here’s good news: You can eliminate ironing while raising the climate. This process needs only three things – a small [...]
