One might think that the title of this post is referring to the fact that NBC gave Rosie O’Donnell a show. While this is epically disappointing, I’m referring to NBC’s “Green Week”.
I tuned in to the National Broadcasting Company’s channel to watch The Office and 30 Rock – two sources of inspiration in my humorous life – and noticed that the NBC peacock logo was GREEN. I started getting a bit nervous. Then I saw a PRO-GREEN commercial with that nerdy little Asian guy from Heroes. The commercial was sponsored by NBC! I put together the clues and realized that NBC is having Green Week!
My mind was racing. First I considered a boycott against NBC, but to do that I’d have to stop watching The Office and 30 Rock. Then I realized that I live in America! Right next to playing baseball and eating apple pie, one of our biggest pastimes is suing people!
I’m therefore suing NBC. My claim is actually somewhat warranted. Here’s why:
According to Wikipedia, “The Fairness Doctrine was a policy of the United States Federal Communications Commission (FCC) that required the holders of broadcast licenses to present controversial issues of public importance and to do so in a manner that was honest, equitable, and balanced.”
Let’s see. Is NBC the holder of a broadcast license? Check. Is going green a controversial issue of public importance? Check. Did NBC present the aforementioned public issue in a manner that was honest, equitable, and balanced? Nope.
Bad news – the Fairness Doctrine was abolished in 1987. However, nothing can stand in the way of the anti-green movement! I will sue the FCC for abolishing the Fairness Doctrine.
To the execs at NBC – you just read about the pain I’m about to smack down on you in the judicial system of America. There’s only one way to make this all go away – BROWN WEEK. Make it happen.
6 Comments
Wednesday at 11:57 pm
Wait, I just saw on that green forum that this site is sarcasm? Please tell me you’re lying. Is this site really satire or not? Answer me straight up or lose your credibility. Thanks.
Friday at 6:36 am
Satire? Sarcasm? Methinks Tom is into the whacky tabaccy. This site is obviously the result of one man’s desire to warm the planet for his own personal comfort. The world looked at him and said, “Why?” Matt looked at the world and said, “Why not?” Such is the nature of greatness.
Sunday at 7:36 am
You might be aware, but the fairness doctrine was eliminated from FCC regulations a while back. It doesn’t exist anymore.
I’m sure you could find another reason though!
Sunday at 1:33 pm
Um, getting rid of the Fairness Doctrine will backfire. They will throw Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, etc off the radio. Talk radio will cease to exist as we know it. And so the green movement can go on unchecked.
Sunday at 2:18 pm
Lacy Ellen – thanks for the heads up. I actually mentioned that in the post. That’s why I’m going to sue the FCC! Maybe not any more, however; because Vake has a good point.
Vake – Good point. The media would be awful if that happened. I will discontinue my FCC-suing venture.
Thanks for the comments all, and keep going AG!
Tuesday at 11:06 pm
don’t forget about the 84-foot Christmas Tree they dragged in from Jersey to display in Rock Center, festooned with over “30,000 energy-efficient LED lights.”