Quick. Think of a well known man from America’s history who flew a kite for a good cause.
If you didn’t think of Benjamin Franklin, you’re wrong. The answer is Benjamin Franklin. He supposedly tied a key to a kite, flew it in a thunderstorm, and discovered electricity. He is now the only man who wasn’t a US president to be featured on United States currency (except for the guy who founded the US Mint – it’s pretty much a given that he deserves his mug on something). This happened solely because he flew a kite. He did nothing else for the people of America. Now he’s actually on the most expensive piece of circulated currency – the hundred dollar bill.
Don’t you want to be featured on a hundred dollar bill sometime in the far future? Don’t you want to go Anti-Green? If so, you need to fly a kite through a wind farm. You can take two routes here:
- Use extra-strength metal wire for your kite string. Your kite will get caught in the wind turbines and will jam them, arresting the natural power generation of the Greenies.
- Use fishing line for your kite string. Your kite will be less likely to jam the wind turbines, but after you leave the kite, your fishing line will never degrade, which will upset biodegradable-loving Greenies.
I suggest using a twine composed of both metal and fishing wire. With your help, wealthy folk of the future will refer to hundred dollar bills as “Anti-Greenians” rather than “Benjamins”. If only one of our faces gets to adorn the hundred dollar bill, I call dibs. On second thought, that might be a poor decision. People would keep hundred dollar bills out of circulation solely so they could look at my handsome face.
8 Comments
Friday at 12:05 am
If you are going to run through a wind farm with a metal string on your kite I suggest not doing it in an electrical storm. I have tried this on several occasions and gotten electrocuted oohhhh about 17 times. Surprisingly enough the metal strings are very good conductors of electric current. Who knew? This is my only warning to you if you try it with the metal strings.
Sunday at 6:42 pm
wind turbine blades are a lot heavier than a person-if you got your kite tangled in one, it would swing you around with it.
Sunday at 6:48 pm
Max, good point. We can turn the spectacle into a carnival ride.
Thursday at 4:53 pm
How about attaching the kite to a fishing pole. That way if your kite gets caught in the blades you could just reel it in;)
Sunday at 8:28 am
http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/14472/
Read under the T-shirt lol!
Sunday at 7:15 pm
No, Benjamin Franklin didn’t do much of anything. I guess serving as Governor of Pennsylvania, founding the University of Pennsylvania, starting the first US fire dept., or successfully lobbying the French to assist us in the Revolutionary war don’t count…
Sunday at 11:30 pm
What? How did you find out that B-Frank did all of that!? Perhaps the Wikipedia article I linked to tipped you off?
Friday at 6:07 am
Thanks for the post, I stumbled upon it when I was searching things related to chicken shed in Yahoo. It’s not exactly what I was looking for but I picked some interesting things. Will visit later again.