Along with the stipulation of only being for attractive women of age (who are not related to me), this rule is only to be followed in the cold winter months. The greenies tell us to wear a sweater or two around the house in the winter so that we can turn the thermostat down and [...]
Entries from December 2009
Monday
For every 10 subscribers, we’ll saran wrap a Prius
Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve already offered you incentive for subscribing by telling you that for every 5 subscribers, we’ll pour a bottle of bleach on a tree. We’ve decided that we will add a new subscription incentive after every 10 climate-rising tips. Here’s the latest: every time 10 people subscribe, we’ll saran wrap a Prius, [...]
Friday
Climate-Rising Tip #21 – Send Text Messages Via Mail
Much like the U.S. House of Representatives can solve the healthcare problem as they’re solving the College Football BCS problem, I can solve two problems at once. However, the problems I solve are more important than the problems they solve. Major problem 1: It’s freezing outside. Major problem 2: People send text messages while they [...]
Wednesday
Climate-Rising Tip #20 – Only Cook With Easy Bake Ovens
I’ve mentioned that we should all eat a lot of food, particularly meat, but I haven’t told you how to cook it in the most inefficient way possible. These days, modern cooking appliances – stoves, ovens, microwaves – are designed to be very efficient because adults like that kind of nonsense. However, kids don’t really [...]
