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“You sound like a twisted young man. I mean that in a good way.”
- writing great Dave Barry
“I am a staunch anti-green advocate. I don’t like your web-site because it is silly and doesn’t take itself seriously.”
-Hardcore Anti-Greenie
A while ago I was thinking about how everyone and everything is becoming green. Cars, water bottles, stores, cats, newspapers, Facebook profiles – everything is becoming green. Global warming, environment this, green that, blah blah blah. Isn’t anyone else sick of the color?
Recently I was in a meeting. A gentleman handed out cards for Power Vote, an initiative to get 1 million voters to vote with green in mind. This dude handed the cards out to everyone in the room, not caring if they actually wanted to vote with green in mind or not. Someone in the back of the room raised their hand and said, “Uhh…what if we’re against the environment?”
Cue GoAntiGreen.com. Those of us who are against the environment or apathetic with the whole situation now have a voice. We’ve been oppressed by the greenies for far too long.
That gentlemen previously mentioned did indeed say that he was against the environment, but to be an Anti-Greenie, you don’t necessairily have to be against it. Most of us are just apathetic. We realize that the “go green” thing isn’t a big deal and probably won’t really make that big of a difference. We aren’t for or against it…we just are.
44 Comments
Wednesday at 8:42 am
Hey I am all for going antigreen, but I think your steps are all a little out there. I don’t want to make radical changes in my life. I think you should make a list of, lets say 10 little things people could do to speed up global warming. Some examples could be, brushing your teeth in the shower, and individually bagging each apple at the supermarket in the produce section in the those little flimsy bags.
Thanks, and keep up the good work.
-Matt
Wednesday at 8:48 am
Matt -
First of all, I love your name. Beautiful.
Second, thanks for the tips! I like the bagging each apple idea, but I think brushing your teeth in the shower would slow global warming down by saving water!
Friday at 12:21 pm
Hey ,
Brushing your teeth in the shower would actually waste more water. If you actually brush your teeth two-three times a day. Instead of simple brushing them in the sink, turn the shower on and jump in, dont forget to leave it on while your drying off an putting away your tooth brush.
Wednesday at 5:15 pm
you forgot bicycles. crush all bicycles.
Friday at 10:14 am
Matt –
I think Matt meant to brush your teath in the shower but save the shower part for later when you take a shower.
I love the 8 tips but I need more ideas. Ive been doing the 8 steps for a few weeks now and its getting kinda boring…ive even tried mixing it up a bit, like buring trees instead of cutting them down and letting air out of prius tires so they get lower mpg’s. I’ve had the most fun banging on priuses though!
heres are some suggestion…
. . .
feel free to add these to you tips list! and keep up the good work
Friday at 5:15 pm
bike_nazi – I’ll try my best to eliminate all bicycles. Then people will need to drive cars!
Friday at 5:17 pm
bobmarley-
Good insight on the brushing teeth in the shower comment. Guess I should have looked into that deeper.
Haha I really enjoy your feedback. Thanks. I’ve cut out your suggestions so I can use them in some future posts if that’s okay with you. (I’ll give you credit of course).
Look for some more updates this weekend and thanks for your support. Make sure you subscribe and tell friends!
Monday at 2:54 am
At last someone who has taken the side of those who are color blind… All this talk about green has literally made me green under the gills AND I wouldn’t even be able to tell you what green looks like!!
I’m extremely grateful for giving us a voice – and some totally realistic, usable advice.
Personally I prefer burning trees, it adds to greenhouse (that stupid color again) gasses although I’d have nothing to hang my Christmas lights on if I got rid of all the trees in my yard, perhaps that is where the 22 children can come into play…
Wednesday at 1:28 pm
Bobcat,
Finally! Someone who has some sense about the color green. Everything’s going green. I’m sick of the color.
Thanks for appreciating my work, I really appreciate your appreciation.
Also, I really like your tips! Keep GAG! (Going anti-green)
Tuesday at 11:53 am
You forgot to mention how extremely sexy that gentleman was…
Putting all recycling in black, tied garbage bags so that the homeless can’t shift threw the trash before it is added to the landfills.
Tuesday at 12:13 pm
You people are complete idiots! You all happen to live in the environment! Do you think it is nice to make sure it is clean. I mean you don’t have to go overboard and buy a prius. But you shouldn’t litter and you kill trees for no reasons. I can’t believe there are actually enough fucking idiots out there to start a group against the environment! I mean fine I guess if you would to pay more in electricity bills and pay thousands for a car that only gets 8 miles to the gallon go ahead just keep in mind that pollution causes tons of medical problems and they are not pleasant!
Friday at 3:29 pm
Common Sence, You are not getting your facts straight here. Nuclear power is the cleanest and cheapest form of energy but the greenies fight against it all the time. They would rather we burn coal and wood. Another issue I have is know hybrid car will fit my family of nine so I have to drive a vehicle that gets 17-20 mpg. Finally, by burning mature trees you are actually benefiting the environment. Why doesn’t anyone in the green movement mention that ALL living things produce CO2? It makes me so frustrated that they say save the trees but kill the cows. Anyone of them know what cellular respiration is? Trees have to do it too! And if you want to argue that trees actually use some of that CO2 to grow, that is true, but trees do quit growing eventually. Chop down the mature trees. Then you will provide cheap energy for the poor and wood for building homes and any rotting logs will provide shelter for animals. And don’t think I don’t know what I am talking about. This is a BA in biology and 7 years of teaching HS math and biology and chemistry speaking here.
Wednesday at 9:52 pm
Joe, are you referring to your own sexiness?
That’s a good idea. But it’s also a good idea to pay the homeless to work against the environment. Be creative with this.
Sunday at 5:20 pm
I thought this was funny when I first read it but now I’m starting to think that it isn’t a joke…
Saturday at 5:13 pm
The top reasons that I’m antigreen:
1. I’m a skinny white boy, so I have no natural insulation in the form of fat. I can’t, and don’t do cold.
2. If the polar ice caps melt, Gainesville, FL will be flooded. Anything that wipes that dump off the face of the Earth can’t be bad.
3. If the ice caps melt, my home state, Georgia, gets more beach-front property.
Sunday at 10:56 am
M –
One tip for keeping the environment on the downward spiral you’re looking for would be to burn things besides trees. Sure trees are the main enemy of the AG movement, but tires are a lot of fun to burn as well. Combining tire burning with bicycle crushing and Prius kicking could become a real art form. Picture this: a tricycle doused in gasoline rolling down a hill, aimed at a Prius. Now, some of your readers might notice that this could be construed as illegal. Enter the homeless you mentioned earlier. For the price of a good bottle of booze you can have henchmen/women doing your bidding in the quest to scare those green folks.
Monday at 3:53 am
Kevin – Those are some prime reasons. I like them. They’re logical – they just make sense. Go AG!
Allen – A trike doused in gas rolling down a hill aimed at a Prius? Oh. My. Antigreen. That is brilliant!
Thanks for the comments all!
matt
Monday at 6:56 pm
It is my joyous Green Christmas wish that all sheep who have declared that they are”going green”, (going nuts), be boiled in Simple Green cleaner and stabbed through the heart with a sharpened Desani water bottle. Oh, and then placed in the proper recycling bin.
Friday at 7:52 pm
This is the best movement ever. All of your comments are spectacular… Does anyone think we ought to take this on the offensive? For instance, greenies HATE it when we ask for paper bags in the supermarket. I do it regularly.
And at Starbucks, make sure to ask them to double-cup your coffee or tea. They want to save paper with their flimsly little sleeves. I say we thwart them by demanding paper cups!
I mean really, are we more concerned with the environment than saving customers’ hands from burning? Let’s get a grip, greenies.
Keep on truckin Anti-Greens! Literally.
Sunday at 9:45 pm
- Matt
Wow!! I’m really inspired by all of the anti-greenness that is going down here. For the longest time I thought my friend, Moe,and I were the only people alive who wanted to crush all the go-green people. I feel like I’ve just come home after many years of doing something that really sucked…..like sorting recyclables. I hope that, as a united front, we can stand up against the greenies and tell them how stupid they are. I realize they won’t care, but I get a kick out of arguing, and greenies are certainly my favorite targets.
Sunday at 6:26 pm
You maybe a little too tongue in cheek. The green movement actually is dangerous to democracy and freedom. The “global warming” lie is just one of their many tools to drag this country down. To make it out to be a joke is as bad as the eco terrorist themselves!
It only takes a minimal amount of intelligence to see that man could not cause “global warming” nor stop it and it is a lie being taught as absolute truth! It is bad science and a bad theory.
It all has Americans caught up in the “green” movement and they are like robots recycling their fingernails to save the earth! It’s like a society gone totally mad! The sheepeople are following the Piped Piper into the “green” woods and they can’t even see the common sense that will set them free.
Wednesday at 12:53 am
Chris,
You are an idiot.
Friday at 1:08 pm
I love the idea of anti-green, but not in the sense of going ‘against’ the environment so much as considering it in light of the truth that the idea of “global warming” is one created by very imaginative and manipulative environmentalists and/or politicians that are in their pockets.
Climate change is something that has been ever-changing for centuries even the millenia and the amount of change being touted as proof of global warming at all is inaccurate information and if the real data were shown it shows the opposite anyway. Madness indeed. I agree wholly with the last commentor.
Friday at 2:29 pm
great blog, adding you as a link on my site…working hard to do the same thing, blow the wind out of the green movement!
Wednesday at 1:13 pm
Finally… I’m completely on board with every single thing you’ve said. I’ll spread anti green ideology as far and wide as I possibly can in my area.
Now I’m off to throw away some plastic water bottles and kick a Prius.
Tuesday at 9:42 pm
Matt,
Yesterday I was looking at the t.v. channels and lo and behold there’s a channel soley (is it soley or solely?) committed to spreading the “go green” movement. OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! We are going to have to work extra hard with our AG efforts if we are to defeat this formidable opponent. We are going to have to kick 10 times as many priusi (i think thats the plural of prius). And I expect every truly devoted AG to buy at least 12 Hummers to support our powerful movement.
From an AG crusader,
Nick
Thursday at 2:53 pm
This is awesome. I have been hating the “green” crap since I first heard of it. Damn hippies.
I am glad I came across this site and discovered others out there like me! And now I have even more reasons to hate it!!
THANKS!!
Thursday at 10:31 pm
“Why would we be against the environment? The winter in the midwest lasts from November till April, which is a good 6 months. The ridiculously cold weather and immense amount of snow that is snowed disproves global warming. To combat this awful weather, we have to ban together to increase the speed and seriousness of global warming.”
So really, you’re just against winter and snow? I’m from Michigan and in 2007 we had no snow on Christmas day. Fortunately, we had snow in 2008. 2007 was the worst holiday season I have ever experience though(even worse that in 2003 when both my grandfather and dog died within a matter of days after Christmas). I don’t think that I want to accelerate any kind of temperature increase if it means I’m not going to have snow on Christmas again. No snow on Christmas day may be alright for people that haven’t experienced it but spend time somewhere with snow during the holidays all your life and your expectations for having a white christmas every year need to be met. Otherwise your Christmas sucks.
Saturday at 9:04 pm
Why dont the eco-freaks get a life and quit demanding that bridge lights be shut off over this whole GLOBAL WARMING poppycock bull kaka bull poo
Wednesday at 10:16 am
Love the idea… not so “anti-green” myself, more of anti-”green movement”. I think that the ideas are based on emotional nonsense, and that many of them are more harmful to the environment than helpful. What frustrates me the most is that you aren’t free to speak against this stuff without being labeled as “evil”. So, the enemy of my enemy is my friend… Long live “The Anti Green Movement”.
Sunday at 2:08 am
yes, this is very sad that when you try to question the logic of some green ideas you automatically get labeled as an enemy of our planet.. if you don’t run around shouting “Save the planet! Go green!”, they tell you that you don’t care about the environment
Friday at 11:21 am
This is freaking disturbing…are you serious? Anti-green?? Talk about wanting to get attention. How is this logical?…It is selfish. I agree with anti-green movement because it has merely become apart of a style. It is “cool” to be green and buy organic…but the problem is because we have become so caught up with the appearance of it, the things we buy are just as harmful. Like some “organic” foods…most companies simply use that term to attract customers…so in that sense I am against the green movement because the results are shameful. But honestly…whats wrong with trying to save the earth??…I mean ok…I understand for every movement there has to be a group against it…but I really don’t see how its logical. I totally agree the anti-green movement is bad because it focuses on the superficial instead of actually making change…but this anti-green is just as bad..you aren’t changing anything for the better…I think it is more of a style thing…doing it to rebel and look cool. Don’t contribute with saving the environment…but come on…putting all this energy into HARMING the environment…that’s kinda pathetic…
Sunday at 1:01 pm
If I hear one more thing going green, I am going to burn a pile of tires in my front yard. I though my friend and I were the only ones. Thank you for the website. .
Wednesday at 6:21 pm
hey guys, this is the first time ive been here on this website but it looks to me like crap. we need to acualy not just say ooh the envirement is stupid, lets get some facts and show people how stupid the green is!
Thursday at 4:14 pm
ok lets stop the DUH I HATE THE ENVIREMENT crap. i agree that the green movement is stupid yes but instead of OMG kill the envirement i believe that we should explain our point of view and show others y stuff like global warming is fake. and show them the twisted facts and the retardednes of some of the reasons the green movement people use
Wednesday at 3:32 pm
I am glad to see that everyone is doing their part in the AG Movement (this includes those greenies). By this I mean breathing. We are all putting CO2 into the atmosphere but we can do better. So when you are taking part in your AG activities run around and breath hard and fast so you can better this movement and create more CO2.
Your burning tires, gas guzzling cars, and anti-green guns don’t have to be the only ways to fend off greenies. Breath at them (especially if you have bad breath but it is not required).
Wednesday at 6:50 am
I have been reading this blog and am so confused. What is green? You know I think those of us who are color blind need to petition the government to be set aside as a special class that can now receive disability. According to my doctor, I cannot see green so how can I comply with all these new regs coming down on us. Man, half of the men in this world are color blind and green is the major color we cannot see…what about us?
Saturday at 10:55 am
Thank you so much for putting up this website.
This old-hippie-recreation movement will end up in communism for everyone.
I’m now going to go sit in my idling car outside in 110 degree heat for about an hour. For no reason.
Thursday at 4:11 pm
I personally love CO2 -it makes more trees and what could be more green than that?! Who has the capacity to organize a push CO2 campaign -I’m talking posters, t-shirts, rallies and air-time for pro CO2! CO2=Green! We can chant “CO2! CO2!”
Thursday at 4:42 pm
right on ! finally a website that discusses items that are anti-green !!!
I hate recycling, I love idling my truck/suv, I drink bottled water, and I campaign against any and all greenie ideas !!!! I also use pesticides too.
keep up the good work !!!
Thursday at 4:32 pm
How insane are the greenies? Well, my company just gave everyone a sustainability mug and have eliminated all paper cups. Coffee? use your mug. Water? use your mug. This is all well and good, but demonstrates the lunacy of the greenies – good-bye paper cups, hello excess soap and paper towel use by the office just to wash the cups every day (and maybe several times per day if you switch from coffee to water to…) Our very freedoms are being stolen by those who arrogantly think they know what is better for me and for the planet. Its done just find for itself for 4.5B years and the real inconvenient truth is that the planet will do just fine for as long as we exist or until after we are gone. At what point in time did we (or the Greenies) become the God controllers of the planet of whom only in their command can the planet survive?
Sunday at 2:02 am
Oh yeah, it’s exactly this lunacy, this absence of logic that scares me most about some ideas of the greens. They don’t know for sure the effects of a certain action or habit on the environment. But something switches in their heads, they decide that it’s bad for our planet, and they propose to change it for something else that, in fact, can be even worse!
It is some kind of ideology – a belief that is not backed up by any facts. People just want to believe that they are saving the planet, and they don’t ever question their own logic. I know it is a gross over-exaggeration, but that’s still somewhat similar to how world’s major ideologies like fascism and communism were born…
Sunday at 1:45 am
Actually, finding out that this web-site exists made my day!
Before I thought that I’m the only one who feels tired of this greeny stuff that you hear about everywhere. Now I know that there are other people who agree with me.
Moreover, I think it’s great that there is this web-site where people can share their anti-green opinions and feelings. Greens have web-pages, blogs, and whatsoever, where they buzz about their green ideas 24 hours a day. Now there is a room for us to say what we want to say!
Sunday at 9:17 pm
You all are going to wake up and find out your favorite color will be green. Hope you choke on a recycling bag.